I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
