If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
