Me too!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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