I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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