Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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