did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
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My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
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I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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