They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
