Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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