On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i came on her dog
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
