ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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