while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
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Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
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All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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