I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
