i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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