so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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