i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
