I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize