Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
