he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
