Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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