I think I am morally bankrupt
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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