bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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