i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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