So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
