did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He felt like a one man threesome
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
