Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
