It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Still dying that you shit outside
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He? As in you personified your dick?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
