haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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