i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
