If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.