Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
