Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees. http://tfl.nu/j4sn
  Replies (11) Good night (2674) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too. http://tfl.nu/gf0r
  Replies (10) Good night (4669) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me http://tfl.nu/nl48
  Replies (20) Good night (4759) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love. http://tfl.nu/7dfa
  Replies (15) Good night (6719) Bad night (1231)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking. http://tfl.nu/3qfc
  Replies (22) Good night (7509) Bad night (1422)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays http://tfl.nu/yd37
  Replies (10) Good night (3991) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either. http://tfl.nu/z8zq
  Replies (25) Good night (1762) Bad night (3476)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro. http://tfl.nu/i908
  Replies (1) Good night (2151) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes. http://tfl.nu/cpyt
  Replies (8) Good night (2396) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting? http://tfl.nu/he3z
  Replies (6) Good night (1221) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention. http://tfl.nu/nbnk
  Replies (21) Good night (842) Bad night (2753)
• Favorite

  (567): View more from Ohio

  Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (567): Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho. http://tfl.nu/6eue
  Replies (2) Good night (1750) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder? http://tfl.nu/t2rf
  Replies (9) Good night (463) Bad night (1759)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses." http://tfl.nu/iu6o
  Replies (2) Good night (1007) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle. http://tfl.nu/n2vr
  Replies (1) Good night (769) Bad night (331)

Randomize