sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
