the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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