He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize
