i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
