the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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