I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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