You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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