Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
high people should be assigned attendants
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
