On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
