The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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