You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
