I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
what day is it and did you see me today?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
