We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
