I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
