I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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