Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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