I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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