I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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