Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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