let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
why is half of my head shaved?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
