Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
