I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
