the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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