Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
