Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize