seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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