id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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