I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
