Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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