sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
