its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
