just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
